Did you ever have one of those days that you just wanted it to be over and done with. Well that is today for me. I can't wait for it to be over. I jusst want to crawl into my bed a nd hide till morning. To bad I can't. I think we should be allowed to a "bad day" day. Thats right everyone should get two a year. You can leave school or work early go home and crawl into bed and hide till morning. No one will speak of the "bad day" it will be like it never happened.

Congrats to me

Alright everyone congratulate me. I got hired fulltime, no more training period. I got a new job to take on and more money. No more receptionist, I am now part of the support staff. Yes finally something is going the way I want it to. Also I will get benefits soon enough. How cool.
So this means it could be a while before I post another blog. I am going to be real busy starting in a week or two. I could use the computer at home on the weekends but I would have to kick my sister off first. That could prove to be a challenge. So I guess we will see.

Fustration

I am thinking of putting my youngest son in daycare in september. My Aunt maybe working and therefore unable to watch the boys before and after school. My oldest may stay with the neighbor. So I have been calling this daycare, that is close to home, for about two weeks now. The people who work in the daycare no nothing of costs or when regitration is. The supervisor is never in. I am getting really fed up. I called this morning and was told to call after lunch. So if I call after lunch and she isn't there again I am going to very angry and upset. I may just have to find another daycare. I may just have to leave a message for the so called supervisor telling her irresponsible she seems to be. I left my name and number last week and never did get a phone call.

I went to the Eaton Center to meet Kerry for lunch today. I had bourbon chicken and it was so good.
Kerry bought a couple of shirts for her husband, and the sales clerk guy was a total moron. Kerry has a status card that allows her to not pay pst. So the guy didn't know what it was and after Kerry explained it he still didn't get it. But he attemped to take the pst off the bill. So he says "ok it comes to ...." after like fifteen minutes. Kerry looks at the bill and the pst is not redeem. She informs the guy of his mistake and he gives her back it in cash but completely gives attitutde as well. Last time we go it that store.
Then on the way out this guy stops right in the middle of the hallway because he is talking on his cell phone. Kerry would have walked right into him if she were not paying attention. She steps around him and says to me "I should have just walked into him." I agreed with her. It would have been funny to see the guys reaction. Of course it would have been his own fault for suddenly stopping in the middle of the walk way like that. So apparently cell phones are not only distracting on the road but in malls too.

Well I know it has been a while since I last wrote a blog. Life can sometimes fly by before you realize just how much time has past. Work has been busy and I don't dare use the computer at home for fear of getting too angry with it. Our computer is extremely slow and it drives me nuts. So although I am extremely busy at work I am taking a few minutes to write a short blog.
My Aunt and I took the boys to see the Battalion game last weekend. We also took my neighbors boy, Gordy. Now during one of the washroom runs I took all three boys to the washroom. This way when they went into the mens washroom they would be able to look out for each other. Safety in numbers. Gordy was wearing an amry style sweater and Joseph, I guess, did not see Gordy veer off to the right and was following a kid in an army jacket for a minute. It wasn't untill Joseph was going to grab the other kid that I realized he was following him. So I grab Joseph and said that is not Gordy then I pointed to where Gordy was and Joseph went and ran into Gordy and Kurtis. It was a funny moment. All in all it was a fun day.
Remember that so called snow storm we had a few weeks ago. Well if you ask me it wasn't that bad of a storm. We've had worse. I mean come on this is Canada. Why people got all flustered I don't understand. If you are going live in this country, learn how to drive in the snow. But that is just my opinion.
Well I should get back to grindstone. So I will sign off for now with one last comment. I wish everyone good luck in all that they do.

Why is is that no matter where you are calling, when you are put on hold the back ground music is always some sappy annouying song that is more likely to put you to sleep then entertain you, while you wait and wait for some one to finally pick up your call. What is the purpose of this. Is it that the company is simply hoping that the person on hold will shortly get fed up and disconnect their phone call. Maybe the company simply likes annouying the general public. Or it could be that they have never listen to the back ground music and therefor do not know how incredible irrating it is. Maybe someone should mention this fact. I think I just gave myself a task to complete.

I am SO proud

Joseph got an A- on his project I am so proud of him. He is one level above averange in most area's. Now if I could just get him to finish his school work at school evrything would be great. Kurtis has always been a very good student he gets A's in most subjects. Things like art he doesn't. He doesn't like to colour or paint so much. But he gets A's in all the academic subjects so that is all that matters to me.
Joseph is the type of kid to get bored easily so he doesn't like to spend a lot of time on one thing. This project of his was a really big achievement. I am So Proud.

Joseph had his first poject to do this weekend. He is only in grade one and already had to do a project. School has really fast forwarded things since I attended. So I spent most of my weekend working on this project with Joseph. I think we did a good job and we had fun doing it. So hopefully he gets a good mark. I hope he doesn't get nervous when he presents his project to the class. I hope he remembers what we discussed. I think I am more nervous about this then Joseph is. Yesterday when were talking about what he would say to the class he acted as if it were so easy and he already knew what to say. I really didn't have to give him to many pointers or ideas.
Today has actually been busy for me. There were five people in today for interviews. I had to greet them, then inform the boss that they had arrived. It is a good thing that I booked these appointments no closer then a half hour apart. Most people should up twenty minutes early. I know being early is a good thing but there is such a thing as being to early. All in all the day has been a good one.
The only thing I didn't like about today was the discustins display of decorations that I could not have ignored. All over the underground mall were big hearts. Another reminder of this stupid day of celebration that is nothing more then a big shame. It was almost enough to make me want to walk outside to work. Almost but not quite.

So my boss is interviewing people for a position at our office. One of the employees is leaving and her position needs to be filled. I am of course the one to greet the applicants and inform the boss that they are here so that totally blows off my idea of painting my nails at work. Normally no one would notice. But with people coming up to my desk and then sitting 5 feet from me, they would surely smell the nail polish. I don't even know how many interviews there are today so I can't even plan out a washroom break. It would be nice of my boss to inform me He didn't even tell me about the 2 o'clock appointment. So imagine my confusion when a lady walks into the office and says that she is here to see my boss. It's a good thing I am a quick thinker or I might not be able to do this job. If I was the boss and I expected my receptionist to greet my interviewees I would certainly give a heads up to that person. But I am used to the lack of communication in this office. Which is sad I have only been here for 5 months.

My boss says to me "Go down stairs to Toronto st at put time on the meter for me. My car is a gray Volkswagen." Then he precedes to tell me the licence plate. So I go and get ticket from the meter thing and I am looking for this car with this licence plate and the only gray Volkswagen on the whole street has a partially correct licence plate. Well I think to myself, this has to be it. So I put the key in and sure enough it opens the car.
I think it is kinda funny that my boss doesn't know his own licence plate. He probably was mixed up with his wife's licence plate. Now of course I am so not pointing this little incident to my boss. My boss is kinda of intimidating at times but when things like this happens it reminds me that he is still a person just like anyone else.

New Boots

Work is so incredibly boring when there is not a single thing for me do but sit here and stare at my computer screen. I think Ihave played every game on gamehouse.com.
In good news I got new boots yesturday. Since I left mine in the washroom at union and some one took them. I choose to believe that my boots are being put to good use, like maybe someone who does not have winter boots and can not afford to get them has them now. In any case I like my new ones. They cost less then $60. I was so amazed at the price. My boots are stylish, warm and comfortable. I am so happy.
Oh thankyou to Kerry for coming shopping with me. Shopping is always more fun when you have a friend to share it with.

Train Delay

So yesterday I was busy working on some spread sheets for Jason. I realized it was 5pm and time to go home. So I saved my work, closed down my computer and left for Union Station. At this point I realized that I had left my winter boots at Union in the morning. I went back to the washroom hoping they were there but of course they were not. I thought well some one must have turned them into lost and found because my boots are old and kinda grubby looking so no one would want to keep them. But alas the lost and found did not have my boots. So I proceeded to catch the 5 45 train home. We were just outside Weston station, which for me isn't even have way home, when came to a complete hault. At first I just figured we were waiting for another train to go by. But after a few minutes we still had not moved. I removed my headphones from my ears and listened to the train operator tell the passengers that the break line had broken due to debree on the tracks and that they were currently attempting to locate and fix the problem. The 6 15 train passed us and a mechanic arrived to help with our situation. Now about 7 30, almost 2 hours after leaving Union, the train starts moving but the operator has not told us what is going on and the train is moving rather slow. So I say "I bet they pulling into the next train station to because we have to get on another train." And of course that is exactly what happened. The next train was a half hour behind us. To top things off it, of course, starts to snow. I was freezing, thinking I can't stand out here for that long. Then I remembered that my friend Nelson had called me a few minutes before and said if I needed he could give me a ride. I called him up said I was at weston and he came and got me. Thank god. Even with Nelson picking me up I still did not arrive home untill 9pm. That is two and a half hours later then I should have gotten home. 9pm is when my boys go to bed. By this time I have their lunchs made and everything ready for school the next day, on any other day. Needless to say I did not get to bed untill roughly 11 50. I am completely exhausted and it isn't even 10 am yet. So everyone pray that this is the worst delay that anyone has to suffer on the go train.

life goals

I have never been one to think of a "new years resolution". I think it is a waste of time. People spend their time thinking of what they most want to accomplish for the new year and then they say over and over this is what they will do. Then of course the so called resolution is never achieved. But of course there is always some excuse or "reason" that in an entire year you couldn't accomplish one simple task.
I however do have life goals. My number one goal in life is to see my boys grow up healthy and well educated and happy. I am doing my best to see that this happens. I am working hard to support them . I have education funds set up, so when they are ready for college or university I will be able to help them afford it. I take my boys to church every sunday so that they may learn about and know God. I help my boys with school work so that they may do well. I teach them to be nice to others. I set rules so they learn the differences between right and wrong. Also so they learn responsibility.
My second goal in life is to be a better person in everything that I do. Now I am not doing so well in this area. Especially when it comes to dealings with my family. But when I am ignored or my authority over my children is compramised in front of them it is hard for me not to get angry and fly off the handle, so to speak. What my family seems to fail to realized is that the boys and I will not be living with them forever. One day we will move into a place of our own . And for us to live peacefully the boys need to know that I am the number one boss. I can not have my boys thinking that it is ok to disobey my word because someone else said something different. And I certainly do not need to be treated like a child in front of my children. Others demend respect from me. Well I feel that I have the right to demand the same respect. After all I am an Adult just like the rest.
I try my best to so my appreciation of my family. Though it never seems to show to them. I however do not know what else I can do. I will not hide my feelings. I do not believe it is a healthy way to live. So I apologize to whoever my feelings may and have upset.
In other words I need help in this area. I need for others to respect me and my wishes as much as they want me to do the same of them.

Have you ever fallen asleep at your desk and woken up startled at the fact that you fell asleep at work. Then you start thinking "oh no what if some saw me dozing away." Of course now your all paranouyed thinking every one knows you were sleeping at your desk but just isn't saying anything to you and they are all giving you dirty looks. Or at lesat you think they are but they are not really because you only fell asleep for a second or two and no one noticed. Yeah I have had this happen a couple of times. Work can be incredibly tiring if there isn't anything to do. Especially if you did not sleep well the night before.
Yesturday I had plenty to do. Today I have nothing to do. I went for lunch with my friend Kerry at the mall. When we walking back to subway this person fully plowed right into Kerry and didn't stop and appologize or say "excuse me", nothing. I found this to very extremely rude. Are people in that much of a hurry that they have forgotten how to be polite? I do not believe that there is anything so important that a person would not have time to remember their manners. There is enough things in this world to upset a person bad manners does not need to be one of them. So when you are in a crowded area and you bump someone, or even if they bump you, remeber your manners say sorry or excuse me. Don't let the rudeness of others take away from your own human decency.

An Old Friend

So yesturday I had an upset stomach and therefore stayed home from work. I spent most of my day in the bathroom. It was lots O' fun (sarcasism included). My sister was so kind as to make some food and help me out by looking after Kurtis who was also sick. I think wee had food poison from the before.
Anyways as per the title of this post an old friend stopped by. Of course it had to be on the day that I looked and felt like crap. It seems to be that on the days that I am feeling good and looking good I never see anyone of any signifigance. Yet the second I am sick I tend to see somre one who I haven't seen in a while or someone I wish would only see me on the good days. But I amn glad that he did come by. I have been looking for away to contact him for some time now. It is funny how things work out sometimes.

Wake me up once...

So I had just doozed off into dream land when I was woken by the sound of my aunts voice. She was telling my sister to be quiet. My aunt reminded Liz that other people in the house have to get up early. Now I didn't even hear my sister come in the house last night. I guess she was in the office which is right under my aunts room and unfortunetly our house has no sound proofing what so ever. So even if one was to whisper everything can be heard in the room above.
Now my problem last night was I never heard my sister but I did hear my aunt, who chose to stand in the laundry room outside the office and tell my sister to keep the noise down. Now for some one that was complaining about noise my aunt was not to quiet herself. Knowing that the laundry room is right under my room you think she would attempt to be a little quiet. I am sure that Liz was trying to be quiet she is fully aware that my aunt and I get up early. If she was making more noise then necessary I am sure I would have heard her. I guess Liz just isn't allowed a life in our house. At least during the week. So Liz here is my advice. On sunday night if you and Matthew want to hang at our house you should think about staying in your room with the door shut. The only ones the will here you there are me and the boys. You would have to awfully noisey to disturb either of us. If you want to be in the office you both will have to learn to not breath for the time you spend in there.

Should I be worried

My friend Craig treated me to lunch today. We went to a restaurant by work called Jammz. I had a burger and salad. It was good. Craig had the 8oz steak dinner that cost $20 and some cents. I think this to be a little bit pricey. An 8oz steak with fries or salad should only cost around $15. But this place is in down town Toronto in the business district. So I guess one can only expect everything to be a bit more costly then elsewhere. All in all it was a good lunch.
Tonight Oscar is picking me up from the train station in Brampton. I need to get my car seat, for Joseph, from him. So he said he would bring me home. He is being really nice considering I only broke up with a couple of weeeks ago. He should rightfully want nothing to do with me. It scares me when people are nice to me when I know they should dislike me. I am not sure if I should be nervous because Oscar is planing something bad or if he just honestly being nice. Then again I still have the keys to his place so who knows what he is thinking. Either way I am prepared for the worse but will except the better.
Thank goodness it is Firday. The only productive thing I have done today, besides this blog, is print a few files for a co-worker. I got the mail to but it is all for Diane who is not in untill Wednesday.
I still have 2 hours and 15 minutes to survive. Help me! At least when I am on the train I can take a nap.

Okay I am going to be a bit of a copy cat here. I want to do list 10 firsts and so on list that as Matt said everyone is doing. So here goes.

10 FIRSTS
SCHOOL: Sir John A McDonald. It was not french emerg like Liz thinks that was Frenchmens Bay.
HOUSE: An apartment in Scarborough. Liz doesn't remember but she was born there we moved to ajax after. That is where we lived above the plaza in a town house.
SKIPPED CLASS: Grade 10 Science class. I could not stand my teacher and how he thought there was something wrong with me because I wore all black all the time.
BEST FRIEND: I think that would have to Kelly. She lived across from us on Jatwin circle. I had so many sleepovers at her house.
PET NAME: Like Liz said Suzy and Mr Jinx our married cats.
PIERCING: Same as Liz my ears we had them done the same time I think I was eleven years old.
CRUSH: Andrew from Frenchmens Bay in grade 1. We held hands everywhere we went.
KISS: I do not remeber the boys name but it was in front of my house on Jaywin Cirlce in pickering. We were hiding behind the big tree in the front yard.
CAR: The first car I was ever in was my days station wagon. Which was Kurtis' first car ridden in as well. I do not own a car yet.
FIRST RIDE IN A VEHICLE: My dads motorcylce when I was only one year old. He took me to the corner store.
CD: Limp Bizkit

9 LASTS
TIME I SMOKED: July of last year. I have been smoked free for six months yeah me.
FOOD I ATE: Cream of Wheat for breakfast.
CAR RIDE: Last weekend when my brother pick me up from the bar I was at.
MOVIE WATCHED: A Night in the Museum
PHONE CALL MADE: Last night to Trish.
PHONE CALL RECIEVED: Un none call for a co-oworker. That is right folks I am count my job calls as my last call recieved.
CD LISTENED TO: Last night I could hear my Linkin Park from the boys room, does that count?
BUBBLE BATH: I think I had one last year.
SONG LISTENED TO: Encore by Jazz E and Linkin Park. It is on my MP3 player.
WORDS SAID: Good morning UTR Global

8 HAVE YOU EVERS
DATED A BEST FRIEND: I have a couple of ex's that I am close friends with now. But I have never date a guy that I was friends with first.
BEEN ARRESTED: No, but I was brought home a couple of times, by the police, when I was a tennager.
BEEN ON TV: Not yet.
EATEN SUSHI: Yes and gross
CHEATED ON A BOYFRIEND: No. I strongly believe that if you want to be with someone else you need to end it with the current person first.
BEEN ON A BLIND DATE: Yes once i met a girlfriend for a movie and she didn't tell me she was settin me up with a guy.
BEEN OUT OF THE COUNTRY: Yes. We drove through Michigan on the way to my Dads in Sault St. Marie.
BEEN IN LOVE: Yes. And look where it got me.

7 THINGS I AM WEARING NOW
Blue Blouse
Black Dress Pants
Pink Bra
Black and Pink Undies
Black Heeled Boots
Six Rings
Matching Earrins and Necklace

6 THINGS I HAVE DONE TO DAY
Turn of my alarm
Showered
Got Dressed
Put on Makeup
Walk To The Bus Stop
Road The Train

5 FAVORITES
FOOD: Spaghetti
THING TO DO: Call my boys in the morniong on my way to work. Kurtis is always a joker and Joseph always has something funny to ask or tell me. Like yesturday morn he asked if I would buy him a phone when he is older, like 9 years old.
MOVIE: Ice Age. That stuipid squirrel chases the acorn through out the whole movie.
AMUSEMENT PARK RIDE: The Strawberry Ride they have at Fairs. The boys and I can go on it together and they always want to spin faster.
OBJECT: Motorcylces. It is just so much fun to ride one.

4 PEOPLE I TRUST
My Aunt Fran
My Sister Liz
My Best Friend Kerry
My Sons. They never lie me

3 THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE
Go Sky Diving
Build A Fortune to leave my boys
Travel the world

2 CHOICES
VANILLA OR CHOCOLATE: Chocolate
HUGS OR KISSES: Hugs, you can never go wrong with hugs.

1 PERSON I WANT TO SEE RIGHT NOW
I am going to have change this one to the two people I want to see. I could not possibly choose been my sons aand they are the people I want to always have near me.

Okay, there you have it my list of things and stuff.

Ok so my sister Liz has once again proven that she is a total freak. She laft five comments on one of blogs on was to correct her own spelling one the previous comment. The last state "how many can I leave before you get angry?". On the next blog my sister left a comment daring me to wheel through the streets of down town Toronto on an office chair. So here is my dare to her.
Liz I challenge you to a race. We will start at Adelaide and race down Younge st. all the way to Front st., on office chairs. The loser has to do the winners chores for a month. Which for simply means one has to do all the house work while the other does nothing. I think this ought to be fun.

So what would you think if you saw someone wheeling around on an office chair, through the streets of down town Toronto?

Random Thoughts

Another day another dollar. I have not much to do as usual. The phone has not rang much today. So I am sitting at my desk writing a blog just because I can. At least this makes it look like I am working hard, instead of hardly working. I do not have much today say today. Oh it was Liz's birthday on friday so everyone say happy birthday to her. We had a lovely ham dinner last night at Liz's request. Then we had a cake that had tangerines, strawberries and kiwis on top of it. Best cake ever. My aunt misplaced the liz's presnet from Kenneth (our brother). So liz had to open and empty bag that was from our brother. Afterwards we were talking about some funny thing my boys have done in the past. I had mentioned what my boys decided to call me the other night. Kurtis had wanted something that I was noty getting fast enough so he said something like "hurry up" I think then he called me "woman". So I said "excuse me what did you call me" then Joseph calls me "drama queen". When I told my aunt she said she agreed with Joseph. It was kinda funny.
Matt and Liz did the dishes after dinner was over. Thankyou by the way, I didn't have to do any of it.
My friend Craig is moving away to Calgary I am going to miss him. I went out with and some other friends on saturday night. I did not mean to stay out all night but conversations took place and the next think I new the bar was closing lucky for my brother had agreed to pick me up. Otherwise I would have to pay for a cab which would have been difficult since I had no money. It would have been a long walk.
Well I have two hours and 7 mins left to be bored. Then I have to make a mad dash for the 5:15 train as I do every day after work. Starting next week I am taking the 5:45. Aunt fran will not be working anymore. She will be looking after the kids so I don't have to pay a babysitter. It is to much of a rush to catch the 5:15 train. Although it is a good work out, I simply can not keep it up. I will get home a half our later but Aunt fran said she would take care of the kids lunches so I will have enough time to do what I need to do.

Stingy restaurants

Well another boring day at work. I broke up an empty box because I had nothing else to do. It was fun for about 30 seconds. Everytime phone rings I think finally something to do. But of course all I do is transfer calls to someone else so I am only busy for a minute or two. Then it is back to doing nothing. Unless I decide to play a game on my computer or do a puzzle. Staring at the computer srceen all day is hard on the eyes so I try to not play for too long.
I had salad from wendys for lunch today. Have you ever noticed that no matter where the salad is from the dressing is never enough. The salad is enough to be a meal on it's own but the pack of dressing is only good for about half the salad. Now is dressing really that expensive that restaurants can't afford to give you two packs without charging extra. A large size salad should come with two packs it seems resonable to me. Just like if the fast food joints insist on use the minature packs of ketchup the least they could do is give you more the two packs. Or put them out where customers can gets packs on their own. Has the world really come to the point where we need to be stingy on condiment packages?

So a while back I had mentioned that the intersection near my house is absolutley filled with bad drivers. It's so bad that I said iwas going to nark on all the bad drivers. Since that statement and my preperation, to take all need info on said drivers, no one has attempted to run me down. So I want say thank-you to all the drivers who have decided to wake up when they are behind the wheel. We all need to do our part to make this world safe.
In response to matt's comment of how the police are in abundance near my house. I hope that was sarcasism. The only time you will see a cruiser in my neighborhood is when they are looking for the drunk that was hanging out at the strip mall, down the street, flashing everyone his wee wee. Even then it isn't till at least midnight. Although this week I have seen two cars pulled over by the police near the fore mentioned intersection. And to think I had nothing to do with it.
In my last blog I stated a little tid-bit of advice for all guys. I want apologize to any one that this may have upset. I was angry and the advice was more directed at my ex-boyfriend then the male population as a whole. But please remember that your significant other does deserves the same respect that you wish to recieve from them.

So I switched to the new blogger with google. It supoose to have more features. I will figure them out as I go guess.
I got an mp3 player for christmas. I listen to it on the train to and from work. It makes the ride go by faster. Since I broke up with Oscar every song semms to remind me of him. It is pathetic I know, but it has been a long time since I really cared about a guy and I have forgotten what it feels like when that guy is no longer a part of my life. I know in the end I am doing what is best by not putting up with his crap. Yet I still wonder if I am being to critical or maybe I just expect to much. It is not like I expect Mr. Perfect though. I just want someone to respect my wishes and beliefs and the fact that my children must come first above all else. Which maybe the problem. Since every guy whats to be number one in their girls life. Maybe I am just destin to be single for all eternity. Which at this point doesn't seem like such a bad idea.
I am not even that upset over the break up. I am more angry then sad. I am angry that I believed that things work between me and Oscar. I should know better by now. Anything that seems to good to be true is always to good to be true. I seem to only meet the boys who think they are men. But they are only self centered boys who don't know how to respect others. What bothers me the most is that Oscar knew, from the very beginning, excatly what I wanted in a relationship and that I would not settle for anything else. Yet he decided that I was being selfish and he didn't want the same thing eight (almost nine) months later. Why couldn't he figure that out in the beginning and save us both the heart ache. He alsio claimed to "love" me. If this is true why didn't he try and make me see that we could work things out. He didn't have anything to say, nothing at all.
My little piece of advice to all the guys in this world. If you are not completely in love with you girl don't pretend that you are. If she says "I love you" and you don't have that feeling for her just tell her your not there yet. If you care for her let her know but do not give the impression you care more then you actually do. If yo decide that the relationship isn't working out, tell the girl immediately. Never string a women along into thinking there is something when there isn't. And don't be a coward just tell her ypu don't think things are working between the two of you. Don't piss her off in hopes she'll dump your ass. Women can be very spitfull and it would be in the guys best interest to just be straight up with us. Then there ex's wouldn't write or talk about all the horrible things the guy did. And maybe we wouldn't hate the male population and would be happier. Therefore we would bitch so much to the guy we are seeing.
All in all the world would be a happier place if the guys with no back bone would just grow some and learn to show some respect and compassion. You have to give it to get it.

Well I haven't written anything in a while because there hasn't been much to write about. But as time passes events happen and then there is something to share with others.
My Christmas and New Years was good except for one thing, which I will get to after the good stuff. The kids where spoiled, like always. They got new x-box games, bath stuff, toys, games, books, clothes and candy. I got everything I wanted and needed including an mp3 player. Everyone got along. My aunt cooked the turkey to perfection and everything else was great. With the exception of how I have been treated by my so called boyfriend, Oscar. I had invited him to christmas dinner in November, plenty of time for him to know if he would be able to make it. Oscar agreed to come I told him that dinner was at six so we agreed for him to come in the early afternoon. Now knowing that my boyfriend tends to forget things I reminded Oscar of our plans regularly until Christmas Eve. Now the only plans that he had that he informed me of was going to his aunts later Christmas night. He never once mentioned going to his sisters during the day. So I had no reason to think that he would not show up in the early afternoon. On Christmas Eve he called me and said we need to talk about where our relationship is going. It was one of those conversations that make you think the other person wants out of the relationship and is just looking for an excuse to end it, instead of just being the adult about it. I pretended that I wasn't to upset about this because I was afraid that if I showed to much emotion Oscar would never come over and we would never sort anything out. Christmas day comes the hours roll by painfully slow untill midafternoon then the hours are gone in the blink of an eye. 6pm comes and I am just sitting down to eat my dinner. Everyone is there, except my boyfriend. The phone rings I pick it up and can you guess who it was. Yes thats right at 6:05pm my boyfriend called to say he was running a little late. I told him that I had already figured that out. So he comes we have a nice dinner, then after we talk. He says it has been eight months that we have been dating any there has been no talk of moving foward. I ask him what he means ,he says we don't talk about moving in together. Now please note that Oscar new from the beginning that I will not move in with any man untill I am married. He wants to move in together so he can see me before he goes to work or when he comes home. Because we don't see each other enough. I work 9am to 5pm monday to friday. He works 3pm to 1 am 5 days a week and then works at the bar the other two nights. Living together will not change the fact that we do not see each enough. He needs to stop working 7 nights a week. He needs to stop using every excuse to not spend time with me. If he wants to end this relationship he needs to just be a man and say so. Sorry for the angry ramblings But I am so fed up with boys pretending to be men. I tired of being with losers that only care about themselves. Back to my story. News years eve he had to work I understand that. I was going to go to his house when he was done work, then we could have thew whole night together. My kids where to be gone away so I had no set time to be home. On friday I informed Oscar that Kurtis(my oldest son) was to sick to go away so I would have to stay home on News Years Eve. I said he could come over after work and we could spend time together at my house. No one was to be home but Kurtis and me. Oscar says well I am going to my aunts house after work. Now what happen to "we don't see each other enough". He says we will do something together on Sunday before he goes to work. He says he will call me. It is now 1:30pm New Years Day and I still haven't heard from my so called boyfriend. This was the first News Years I spent crying in the New Year. I no longer care to try and work things out with Oscar I will not be treated as if I am simply a toy he can pick up when ever he wants. I deserve the same respect anyone else does. I am exhausted from trying to make this relationship work. I have explained how I feel and what I want and Oscar chooses to ignore me anyway. I have tried to no end to make him happy. Yet it doesn't seem to matter to him. So it is over. If he decides to call me I will simply tell him to come get his keys and then never again do I want to see him or hear from him. I will not be the woman that is pushed around and derespected by any man.